A lot of the advice I got about learning to enforce my boundaries was framed every bit anadversarial matter. Similar, 'yes, information technology might upset and disappoint the people around yous, but you have to acquire to tell them 'no' anyhow.' At best, 'proficient people will still like you if yous enforce your boundaries'.
What I wish I'd been told is that skillful people will recollect it'sawesome that you enforce your boundaries, that there are people who will respect thehell out of you for it, that there are people who will admire you lot notdespite you telling them no, simplybecause of it. That nearly peopledon't want to make you lot practise something you don't enjoy,and so they'll actively be happier and more relaxed effectually you if they know they can trust yous to decline to do things y'all don't enjoy and to inquire them to stop things that carp you lot.
Information technology helped me a lot, personally, to finish thinking of 'enforcing my boundaries' as something I did for me and more as something I did to empower the people I was close with, to build a state of affairs where they and I felt sure everything that was going on was something we all wanted.
Well-nigh advice isn't good for everyone and this advice seems maybe bad for people in calumniating situations, considering sometimes you lot do demand to learn to enforce boundaries against people who will try to violate them. Just if there are other brains similar me out there: your partner will exist really happy y'all tin say no to them. your friend will be actually happy you alter the subject when you lot hate information technology. your roommate will actually appreciate that you tell them to plow down the music.about people will feel safer and more comfortable around you if they know you'll reliably express your needs, AND they'll experience better nigh voicing theirs.
athingofvikings:
"But let me give you the dark side of writing groups. 1 actually dark side of writing groups is, particularly newer writers, don't know how to workshop.
"And one of the things they'll endeavor to practice is they'll effort to brand your story into the story they would write, instead of a amend version of the story you want to write.
"And that is the unmarried worst thing that can happen in feedback, is someone who is not appreciating the story you want to make, and they want to plough it into something else.
"New workshoppers are really bad at doing this. In other words, they're really good at doing a bad thing, and they're doing it from the goodness of their eye. They want you to be a ameliorate writer. They want to help you. The only way they know is to tell you how they would practise it, which tin can be completely wrong for your story."
—Brandon Sanderson, Lecture #1 Introduction, Writing Scientific discipline Fiction And Fantasy
everythingfox:
Doggy having fun at the pool
(via)
aurosoulart:
when your fine art program's endmost message hits you directly in the middle and makes you terminate and contemplate the state of it all
iamnotlanuk:
Also I think a lot of immature people on the left are growing up without agreement "y'all can and will brand mistakes in life and who you are is divers by how you motion forward from them" and instead are doing things like "I must ever be upwards the latest social justice language and must always avert mistakes lest i be ostracized and cancelled for information technology so here is everything I support just and then you lot don't think I don't support it, and I'll just experience bad and guilty for every mistake when I do make them and all this makes me a good person". It's like congrats you made Catholic guilt but woke
meetthehelper:
flohasdid:
lovemedonlothario:
if you lot are a game designer and you lot force me to impale wolves AND you have them make deplorable puppy noises I'thou killing you
run across this never happens in spider solitaire for windows
by talos this can't be happening
theperksofneurodivergency:
The mental gymnastics required to say that effort doesn't require effort is fucking insane
rjestudio:
cleromancy:
you lot discover a fanfiction of your favorite grapheme getting group fucked. excited, you click on it, only to discover that the writing is poor and the label is terrible.
it is a shitty shitty gang bang.
this should not have made me laugh as hard as i did
butchdot:
butchdot:
Saw an Italian today
shiningknockouts:
i'm early on for autism acceptance calendar month but pretend this was posted tomorrow, i desire to talk near the negatives of autism and being autistic. those exercise absolutely be. i experience like there'southward been some erasure of the unpleasant symptoms of autism for the sake of autism acceptance, but if you lot tin can't take the bad parts of autism, then yous aren't accepting autism.
aggression and ambitious behavior in response to triggers is an autism symptom. antisocial behavior and lack of empathy are symptoms of autism. proprioceptive issues and being unable to motility usually is an autism symptom. taking things literally (yep, even to the point where people assume it'due south stupidity) is a symptom of autism. being tiresome to understand new concepts (yes, once again even to the point of perceived stupidity) is an autism symptom. autism is disabling for many people, even though it doesn't disable everyone.
the idea that unpleasant or extreme autism symptoms "aren't actually autism symptoms" is harmful and counterproductive for autism credence. we need to include autistic people who scream and kick and seize with teeth when they're overstimulated in our acceptance. nosotros need to include autistic people who are genuinely bad at interpersonal interaction (as opposed to but being a bit weird or having a few quirks) in our acceptance. we need to include autistic people who take fifty-fifty the virtually obvious things literally and can't read cues AT ALL in our acceptance. we need to include people who are disabled past their autism in our credence. we aren't all "different but able".
accept disabled autistic people. accept autistic people with farthermost and unpleasant symptoms. don't erase our experiences for the sake of autism beingness more acceptable to allistics. happy autism acceptance month.
thatwheezingsoundthetardismakes:
cedrwydden:
lunamargarita:
cedrwydden:
esoanem:
cedrwydden:
Every word that starts with an N should accept a silent G in front. Gnorway. Gnuclear. Gnervous organization. Gnipples.
At some point my brain decided based on the word knee that body parts showtime with a northward audio should have a silent k (specially the word neck) and then I am against gnipples wholeheartedly, it should clearly be knipples!
How about a compromise? Gn words and kn words get switched. And then now information technology'southward gneecaps and gnowledge, but it's too knome and Knosticism.
the problem with this is that information technology doesn't account for the original dilemma, which was gnipples vs. knipples
I, for i, think it should exist pnipples, like pneumonia
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